Blink
by archerNexus
Summary: Edward leaves, Bella never jumps. Instead, she heads out east to Dartmouth. Only, she doesn't realize she's walking into more trouble than she could have anticipated. A damaging car crash is the catalyst, but her fate remains the same. Isabella Swan was made to be a vampire, destined to be Edward's mate, but she'll need help getting there. New Moon AU, ends up B/E, I promise.
1. Prologue

Blink

Prologue

"You keep your eyes closed to block out the hardships, the pain, the unwanted; but in that, the true beauty of the world is lost, because you refuse to open your eyes."

~ Anonymous

X

The Tuscan sunset is ablaze across the horizon, but try as she might, Bella is unable to focus on its beauty. Her shoulders are hunched as she sits on the edge of the tile roof, staring blankly into the radiant glow. She's lost in thought and lost in time as minutes trickle by. Her unbeating heart is heavy, thickened with an indescribably numbing pain. There is no sharp stabbing grief, only a persistent ache, almost a fear. She has never been so uncertain. So unsure. So hopeless.

"Bella?" he whispers. She turns to him. Looks him dead in the eyes and tries not to jump at the cruel beauty of his tormented face. "Bella, what is it? You know you can tell me anything."

"But that's just it, isn't it?" she whispers back. Her hand is grabbing the tile hard and she can feel it crumbling to dust beneath her fingers. "That's just it. You're stuck with me forever. And I know you don't hate me, but now – well, now I'm here and you have to listen, have to deal with me. Have to teach me, guide me, put up with every little thing I do. You're stuck with me. Stuck with me until the stars blink out." Her voice is like ash, pure and dry. She's trying to put on her best show, working her poker face despite her blunt, dangerous words. She's afraid to show to weakness and terrified of opening a crack for others to leverage. She won't, can't, survive being shattered to pieces. Not again.

"Bella, my Isabella. That's not how I feel. I don't feel stuck. At all. Why are you thinking like this, telling me this? Why now? Please tell me, I swear I wantto know." His face is dark with sorrow and she honestly finds herself surprised. She wants to believe him. Wants to believe _in _him. To believe in anyone again. _It's too hard_, she thinks, throwing herself into inner dialogue. _But nothing worthy will ever come easily. Just do it, Bella. Don't you want to be happy again?_ She sucks an unnecessary breath in and moves her lips to speak.

"It's just that sometimes... sometimes you get this look in your eyes. You get this sad face, the saddest face I've ever seen. It's far away and vacant and it makes me feel like I'm suffocating. I feel like someone's swiped my feet out from under me and torn my heart out and I've only just looked down and noticed. I know you regret changing me, I get it, I really do. You say you don't feel stuck but I get it. I – "

"No Bella. No," he cries, tears caught eternally in his wild ice and fire eyes, his entire body trembling with the weight of the world. "Not regret, christ, never regret. I just – I don't know how to say this. I love you. I love you unlike I've ever know to exist. I love you like the sun on the most brilliant mornings. I love you until my throat constricts, until I'm being crushed by just the idea of you, your face. Do you get that? How much you are to me? I swear it's like I'm the first and only man to ever love, because this is greater than anything I've known or seen. I love you and I want to give up – no, I've already given up everything I've ever known to be with you. And I'm not afraid of that, but I am afraid, because how could this ever work? He's out there somewhere and I just wonder. I mean, I know what I said last night but I've thought about it and there's no way he wasn't, isn't still, in love with you. And that would mean you're his mate, whether or not he's yours in return. Though I've never heard of such a thing... Never. God Bella, tell me this can work. Tell me it _will_ work even when he's still out there somewhere. Tell me. Oh God, please. Please Bella, you're all I've got. Tell me it'll work."

X

So I'm posting this prologue after having posted the first chapter, sorry! I thought this might get people more interested, but also show where this romance is headed (although this bit is NOT the ending of the story).

Please review dear people; it would be much appreciated!

As always, thanks a billion for reading.

~ archerNexus


	2. Chapter 1

Blink

Ch.1

"_Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear."_

~ Mark Twain

X

The first muffled sound she heard was a steady _beep_,_ beep_, _beep_. Even deep as she was under sedation, the noise aggravated her to no end. _Shut that off,_ her hazy mind screamed. But the noise continued, incessantly, stirring her muddled brainwaves into somewhat more coherent thoughts. It was then that she noticed the whir of machinery around her, the hum of devices, the soft clinical voices. They were nothing but whispers but they managed to rip her from the fog.

She could feel the rough scratch of cheap fabric in her hand and she could smell the cold sterile air but try as she might her eyes only just managed to open to thin slits. She was fairly sure she was in a hospital, but the bright flood of light coming through her eyes held her from certainty. She heard a click of a door and wondered fleetingly who came in. Or who left.

She tried to speak, garbled words falling out of the corners of her mouth. Incomprehensible drawls and slurs that would likely be repulsive or at least amusing to anyone but her anxious parents – that is, if she didn't manage to look pretty all beat up in a hospital gown. Renee jumped up first, nearly knocking over a table of get well flowers in her haste. Her anxious silvery blue eyes were wide with hope at her daughter's display of semi-consciousness. Charlie managed to fumble to his feet too despite overwhelming grogginess after a solid sleepless week. In that moment, the pair looked startlingly alike. Teary eyes, worn faces, wild hair, and shaking limbs. Only their daughter could make them so in tune.

Bella's eyes were fully open now as she became accustomed to the shocking light. The singing burn of her retinas came to a halt as the shadows of her parents blocked out the direct light. As Charlie looked into his daughter's eyes, he seemed to realize something. "Nurse, nurse," he suddenly yelled, "she's waking up, somebody help!"

Renee lurched forward and began fretting outright. Her hands frantically stroked Bella's long brown hair as she tried to murmur reassurances and explain why she was in the hospital. Instead, her words were overwhelmed by her relieved cries and demands to never be so scared in her life.

"Mom. Water, please," she croaked through cracked lips. Her lips felt as if she had gone without fluids of any kind for the six days Renee had just told her she'd been in a coma.

"Shoot, all I've got is Snapple honey, oh I hope that's alright," Renee hiccuped as she grabbed the glass bottle and brought it to her daughter. Renee couldn't believe her luck – her daughter remembered her and remembered how to speak. Charlie sniffled in trembles as he watched Renee help Bella drink the Snapple. She had just finished off the bottle when a nurse came rushing in.

"Oh, thank God," Charlie said upon seeing the woman. With some brief explanations to Bella and her parents, the nurse set to checking all of Bella's vitals and asking her how she was feeling. Bella smiled at the woman, wincing briefly at the pain she felt on the side of her face yet managed to say "Jacksonville was worse."

Renee burst into choking laughs at her daughter's humor. She wished more than anything that Bella had nothing to compare this incident too, but the girl was a walking magnet for danger and accidents. Charlie snorted quietly, thanking all his lucky stars that Bella was still alive. The nurse tried to smile sweetly, but was obviously confused by the girl's reference and seeming nonchalance about her extreme head injury, although she mentally conceded that the girl had yet to learn the extent of the trauma.

"I'll go get the doctor to come in right away," the nurse said as she slid out of the room.

"Oh Bella, honey," Renee whispered as she stroked her daughter's face. "Really baby girl, what can we get for you?" But Bella was distracted, reading the Snapple cap. "What's it say, Bella?" Renee said cautiously, glancing back at Charlie to gauge his reaction to his daughter's inattention. Bella had to mumble her response to avoid excess facial movement that would inevitably cause her more pain.

"The average person blinks twenty times a minute."

"Huh. Well then – " Charlie was saying when the doctor came in.

"Well, excuse me. Hello again Mr. Swan, Mrs. Dwyer. Hello Isabella. I'm Dr. Atkinson and I'll be trying to get you better in the next coming days. The nurse has assured me you are physically in stable condition but I am concerned about the head trauma you suffered. You've sustained a substantial blow to the head after a speeding car knocked you down. I would like to start by asking you a few questions. Would that be alright?" The man's voice was soft, matching his soft face and warm eyes. Bella decided she liked the man, at least, as far as doctors went. She decided she wouldn't call him out for saying _Isabella._

"Yeah, sure," she replied. She wanted to tell him that the nurse or her parents probably would have noticed if she were brain damaged or missing memories by now but she kept silent.

"Alright, first off, can you tell me your full name?"

"Isabella Marie Swan."

"Great, now what is your date of birth?"

"September thirteenth, nineteen eighty-seven."

"Excellent. Can you tell me who the president is?"

"George Bush."

"Alright, that's really good. Really good, Isabella. What is the last thing you can remember leading up to the accident?"

The truth was, she remembered very little of that day up until the actual impact of the incoming Prius. She remembered that one sand grain of a moment quite distinctly, but it wasn't a moment she wanted to describe honestly. Bella prayed her lying skills had improved. She estimated there was a ninety percent chance they had not, but still hoped she wouldn't be under suspicion if she claimed she couldn't remember.

"Well... I think I was heading to class and –"

"Am I correct in thinking you attend Dartmouth? Sorry to interrupt."

"Yes, Dartmouth. I was walking alone, I think, and well, well – I don't know. I think, well maybe I was crossing the street? I think I saw a friend or something and wasn't really looking. Oh God, what was I thinking, did I not look before walking out into the road? How can I not remember being hit by a car?" She knew her hysterics were melodramatic but she figured being calm would be cause for more inspection. And she was rattled emotionally, just for very different reasons.

"Isabella, it's quite alright and completely normal. Very few people actually remember their accidents. I'm surprised you remember as much as you do after sustaining such an injury. Truly. I think that's enough questions for now, but Nurse Vaughan and I will be monitoring you until you're fit to be discharged. I'll likely have to order and MRI or CT scan for you to truly get an idea of where we stand, but please, just rest for now. Mr. Swan, Mrs. Dwyer, I'd appreciate if I could speak with you two outside for one moment." He smiled back at Bella one last time before the three of them stepped outside, likely to talk about her condition and hopefully to tell them to go home and rest.

Bella sighed heavily, regretting the action immediately. She kept twirling the Snapple cap in her hand, thinking back to her naïve conversations with Edward. It seemed all her physical pain blotted the emotions of the memories because she was able to remember them with some sense of clinical detachment, but she attributed it to her mind being on overload. And nonetheless, she was left with a deep, dull and desperate longing. No, she wasn't passed the visceral emotional reactions to her memories and their names. She had thought vampires had been gone from her life, but this accident had apparently changed things up. Her last thought before drifting off was of resentful ochre eyes widening instantaneously into horrified shock as a loud car horn blared behind her.

X

She was released from the hospital a week and a half later, and Bella was honestly grateful she didn't have to stay longer. She caused a small stir when her MRI revealed abnormal blood flow to her right parietal lobe, but as test after test revealed no evident impairment of brain function, Doctor Atkinson agreed to cautiously write it off as a simple fluke of her particular brain patterns. But he did make her and her parents promise to come her back right away if anything came up. Bella prayed nothing did. She had decided she would never set foot in a hospital again.

The day she was released happened to be a Thursday and her parents insisted she not go back to class until the following Monday. Bella reluctantly agreed despite worrying about falling behind on schoolwork. Renee was leaving in the morning to meet Phil at his next game, but Charlie was staying at the Chieftain Motor Inn for an indeterminate period of time. He'd stay until he 'felt comfortable leaving'. Bella was conflicted about him staying. She put up a fight, citing his job and life in Forks as reasons to head home, but part of her was grateful for his presence. She understood why her mother had to go but was glad to have someone nearby to make sure she was alright. For the first time in her life she didn't brush off what had happened to her.

No, the real reason for her internal conflict over Charlie staying was the pair of orange eyes she had seen the instant before she had been knocked into a coma. It was irrational but having Charlie around made her feel a slight sense of security, but she simultaneously recognized her selfishness as something that could, and likely would, endanger her father. If the vampire was out to kill her, surely he would kill her father too.

X

Bella found her dorm empty after her father dropped her off and headed to the inn down the road. The cool October afternoon seemed to come in through the half-curtained windows. The late day sunlight cast orange beams on the walls and floor. Bella shivered outright at the putrid color.

Her roommates, Diana and Sophie, were both out, as usual. Bella found she missed the girls in a vague way. They weren't best friends by any measure but there was a sort of camaraderie between the trio. Bella loved the way Diana's sarcastic humor and wit contrasted so starkly with her otherwise perfectly sweet personality, but she liked Sophie for her quiet understanding. Bella stood idly in the common room feeling a little slighted that they hadn't stayed today to wait for her return. She tried not to think about how hey hadn't even visited her at the hospital when she noticed the grand display on her bed.

Dozens of teddy bears and cards lined her mattress, and there was a massive box of candy squat in the center. Tears sprang to her eyes as she considered how much effort the pair of girls had put into doing this. Laughing at the nickname Diana had taken to using for her, Bella hurriedly opened the largest card that lay on top of the chocolates, addressed _Balla._

_Dear Balla Girl,_

_ Sophie and I are so happy you are okay. First off, text us if you want to come up to the room, we're just downstairs in the lounge hanging out. We thought you might like some alone time without the hectic world giving you a bigger headache than you undoubtedly have already. Anyways, we visited you three times at the hospital but you were, you know, out of it. I hope you got the flowers we left you! _

_ We tried to come when we heard you had woken up but it seriously was as if the world were conspiring against us. No joke! The first day we tried to get a ride with Danny but his car wouldn't start. The next day we called three separate cab companies and not one of them showed. We were planning on going again two days ago, planning on walking the entire way, but we came back from a party (even you would have enjoyed this party, but we'll tell you about it later) and the dorm had been broken into. All my money (not much to it, as you know), both our laptops, and our TV had been stolen. Needless to say we spent the next day talking to the police and other campus authorities. Weirdest thing was that we found all our stuff perfectly in place this morning. I asked Danny if he had pranked us and why the hell he thought that was funny, but he honestly seemed to have no clue. _

_ Anyways, Soph and I are creeped out and were missing your fearlessness (I know you call it your emotionlessness but whatever). Ugh, I'm sorry this letter has probably given you a worse headache than you already have. Sorry! Please text us when you're ready to talk but we won't be offended if you just want to sleep._

_Love,_

_Diana & Sophie_

By the time she had finished reading the letter, Bella was full out crying. Hot tears flooded down her face even as she tried to compose herself to avoid making her headache worse. She rubbed furiously at her eyes, surprised at her emotional response. She then went through the rest of the letters and each one touched her more than the last. She couldn't believe how many people had written to her. People she had barely met. There was one from Danny, of course. Bella smiled at his card and figured he and Sophie would probably get married one day. They were perfect for each other and she had vowed not to let that perfection bother her. Or dredge up any memories.

She had finished reading the cards and rearranging the teddy bears so that she could actually sleep on her bed when something feel to the floor. She turned around and saw an intricate silver envelope at her feet. The envelope itself was a soft silver and was decorated with a pattern of deep red vines and flowers. Her full first name was written in opulent script on the front and Bella wondered who cared about her so much to buy her such a card and also had such extravagant penmanship. Her mind briefly flicked to Edward but the thought was dismissed. His handwriting was beautiful too, but different from this.

Perplexed, Bella opened the envelope with anticipation. She pulled out an ornate card that perfectly matched the auburn hues of the envelope vines. She flipped it open and found a business card with nothing but a phone number and one sentence. _Please be more careful – I don't want to have to expose myself to save you._

Bella's breathing came sharply now. Her hands trembled slightly as utter fear and confusion swept over her. She tried to be strong, tried to be calm and collected, but all she could think of was burnt amber eyes glaring at her, sparking fear in her veins. _Oh my god,_ she thought. _I thought I was out of this tangled web. _And then she collapsed to the floor.

X

Okay, hey everyone!

This is my first story in a long while, so let me know what you think.

I know Bella is a little OOC, but she's been through a whole year without Edward and has started college, so her life experiences are different. Please feel free to give constructive criticism (or outright flames if you're feeling up to it) :D

So… what did you think of it? I know there wasn't much mention of Edward and there won't be direct contact for a while, but this _is _a B/E story, I promise.

Also, I am not set on the title so it might change. Suggestions are very welcome.

Please, please leave me a review telling me how you liked it! Should I continue? I have the whole thing planned out but let me know!

Thank you so much for reading! Please review!

~ archerNexus 3


End file.
